I'll be honest. Originally I had no interest in riding in Madagascar's only passenger train the Fianarotsoa Cote Est (FCE). It's one of those things that they build up in the guide books as being a must do but I could see right through it. Or I could, until some people who had already done it sort of convinced me that it was worthwhile and since I didn't have an agenda anyway I figured I'd give it a go.I have a couple of problems with this train though:
First, It starts in a city that I had no reason to go to (other than to catch the train)* and ends in a city that I had no desire to go to** and that was a day's travel out of my way (to the extent that I had a "way" not really having a set travel itinerary and all).
The second problem I had is that is overhyped and swarming with vazahas. Actually that's two separate problems but one is a consequence of the other.*** In the description it notes that it traverses "some of Madagascar's most scenic countryside". Having already been here for six weeks I've seen a lot of the countryside and while I can't argue that the view from the train wasn't scenic, it was no more or less scenic than you can see in many other places (and how exactly do you rank whether one amazing landscape is more or less scenic than another anyway?)
It goes on to boast that it "offers the traveller magnificent vistas". Ok this may be true if you had a window seat (which I didn't) and it was on the north side of the train (nope again) then you could hang your head out the window and partake in some vistas and also block the view of all the other passengers such as those sitting on the aisle on the south facing side of the train (ie the side where there is just a sheer rock wall along which they built the railroad of which my view was splendid thanks).
The other descriptive words they use are "liesurely" to describe the pace (aka slow) and "lots of opportunity to enjoy the bustle of the 17 village stations as they come alive with the whistle of the train" (ie the train stops a lot).
As a result of this exotic sounding description the train is swarming with tourists. Not the young hip, bearded backpacker types that I like to socialize with (or non bearded in the case of girls) but the older french vazaha's who wear out of context adventure gear like those old photography vests and big hiking boots even though they now have digital cameras and are presently taking a train. They all go in the first class carriages. Wanting to distance myself from that kind of pre-packaged group travel I booked in 2nd class.
So to recap, the train starts in a city I didn't want to go to in the first place, travels extremely slowly and stops frequently and I can't see the vistas because I'm stuck on the aisle seat on the non vista side of the train having got up at 5:30am in time to get my ticket (oh yes that was the other thing I meant to complain about) and then arrives at a city that I don't really want to be in at night time with no hotel reservation.
Hmm, how did I cope with this situation. Get pissed I bet you're thinking. Well that would have been possible because as I said the train stops a lot. And actually, now that I think about it you could turn the FCE into an all day drinking game/pub crawl. If you had a beer at each of the 17 stops you would be pretty wasted when you got to Manakara (especially since beer comes in big 650ml bottles). But then if you saw the toilet in the 2nd class compartment the last thing you'd want to be doing is drinking more fluids. So no I didn't get drunk until I arrived.
Instead I took photos, lots and lots of photos. Photos of the train stopped, photos of it moving, photos out the window (once people got off at about the 5th stop so I could actually take in a bit of vista action) photos of people on the train, photos of people at the station, photos of chickens crossing the tracks and photos of the biggest most prehistorically huge bananas I've ever seen in my life. Then I switched to videos because hey why not capture some of the sounds as well? If I could have somehow captured the smell of the deisil engine it would really be a collection for the senses (the bananas taste the same so just eat a banana while you check this out for the taste sensation).
The other thing that helped me pass the time was expaining to the locals, especially the kids, how my gps works. Basically, despite having read the wikipedia article explaining how the gps works when I first got it, I have no clue. Malagasy children can't seem to sense BS though so I just started randomly explaining the things I did know (like how many kms were left to where the GPS map thinks Manakara is (it's 5kms from where it actually is btw) and filling in the rest with technical jargon and making sure to pronounce "satelite" with an appropriately authentic sounding french accent.
Once I had a few photos of the beard out the window I felt like the whole train journey was actually worthwhile. After all as long as I got one good keeper beard photo with the train in the background that I can use to encapsulate all of the travels of Dave and his beard and from that perspective I was right it was worthwhile. Hell it was worthwhile just to see those giant bananas.
But then I got to Manakara. Adrien, one of my group members from the Pic Boby ascent told me that it was worthwhile going there because it had a kind of end of the world feeling. Didn't sound all that great to me. I'd been trekking and taxibroussing around for the past 10 days I think some right smack in the thick of the world would be pretty awesome right about now.
Since I was pretty sure I didn't want to go there I had consulted the guide book and just figured I'd get the first pousse-pousse guy to take me and my bags to any hotel he could recommend that might have a room. We agreed the price up front but as I didn' have the correct change he decided to up the price to match the currency I did have (double) on the grounds that the first hotel that he recommended was full and he took me around the corner. I argued that I agreed the ridiculous price that he quoted in the first place on the understanding that he would actually find me a hotel and would therefore save me a lot of hassle but then he brought his kids into it and the hotel wouldn't make change for me so I had to suck it up and pay the man his £3.50. Consulting the guide later saw that there was actually a big article warning against the Manakara pousse-pousse drivers and how ruthless and relentless they were.
Even though a ride from the train station on the outskirts of town to find a hotel in the dark might well be worth way more than the price I paid in London or elsewhere in the world, in Madagascar I should have paid about £0.50 for it and it is the feeling of getting ripped off which starts to wear on you after a while and makes you stop returning peoples smiles knowing that they are almost always followed by some kind of request or scheme for you to give them money.**** I deliberately didn't take another pousse pousse ride just out of spite even though it would have been much easier. On my way out of town I walked with my pack the 4kms to the taxibrousse station passing pousse-pousse after pousse-pousse explaining them my distaste for their dishonest business practices and arguing that since I was generally younger, stronger and fitter than them it really didn't make sense for them to be carrying my stuff anyway.
Photos: 1) Train leaving on time (ish) from destination 2) I like this one. You can't really see the red of the engine but you get the kid's head in the foreground looking out. 3) Why did the chickens cross the tracks? Don't know. In this photo they're more walking along side the tracks but it still seemed a bit risky if you're a chicken .4) This one didn't turn out so great partly due to my overwhelming enthusiasm for the pre historic bananas but it's the best one I have that really show's how huge they are. 5) A random one after the bananas were put down and lots of people got off the train at the rest stop and the kid was sleeping. 6) Self portrait out the window of a moving train with the left hand. Let's see you do that with an SLR eh? 7) Ok so Manakara does have a kind of end of the world/old west feel about it. It doesn't mean I'm ever going there again now does it? Just look how lazy those pousse-pousse drivers are! Also I've locked in photo number 5 for the beard chronicles and can save the rest of my train pics for the trans-siberian.*After spending 2 days there because the Thursday train was cancelled I realized that I also had no desire be there either.
**This was reinforced after I was actually there and had no desire to be there.
***It is overhyped DONC it is swarming with vazaha's. Merçi Simon R. pour la leçon français.
****Actually I smiled but just a sarcastic smile often accompanied by an some english that I know they don't understand. What? don't understand eh? Well I don't understand Malagache so welcome to my world. No "argent" for you. BTW friends beware due to the lack of speaking english I have a lot of pent up sarcasm that will need to be released when I get back so by no means interpret that as me complaining or not enjoying my madagascar experience
1 comment:
I tend to agree. the beard out the window shot is very worthwhile.
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